1000 Ways to Die: Code of Death
by TotalDramaRox97
Summary: A little more morbid than my last two  sorry if there are spelling and grammar errors but i felt like i was on a deadline


Tonight see the guy who learns who the true dog is, a girl goes from fishing to flopping, a guy gets deserted, two guys get banged, a woman's dildo becomes a killdo, an earthquake makes a man a part of it, and a dude learns that what happens in the wild stays in the wild.

Date: November 5, 2009

Albuquerque, NM

What's kind of person uses the desert as a weapon, how about someone who uses them for his own sadistic desires. Meet Chet, he's a sleazebag who likes to hook up with hookers, take them to the desert, and then ditch them. Kerri Laron Police Officer: "Intentionally deserting someone out in the wild is very illegal. It's basically like leaving someone in a zoo with animals loose, the person may escape, or they can be killed by the animals so it's basically like indirect homicide which is still homicide." The hookers survive, but can't press charges because they know what they did was illegal as well. Tonight, he hooks up with a hooker named Katie. While in the desert, Katie remembers a fellow hooker warning her about Chet. "Wait, your that guy who leaves hookers in the desert." He made the mistake of taking the hooker's car instead of his own car. His pan backfires and he has gone from the deserter to the deserted (hooker drives away). Chet only has a small bottle of water with him. 2 days later... Chet is exhausted and dehydrated. He collapses of exhaustion, he doesn't die of dehydration, but he definitely died of desert conditions. Dr. Khyber Zaffarkhan Physical Medication and Rehab: "When he landed face first in the sand unconscious, he inhaled a dangerously large amount of and, this blocked off his airways and he asphyxiated within minutes." When karma calls, it takes down people like Chet and has them, dried up.

Way to Die #493

Hook, Line, and Sunk

Date: July 17, 1998

Maria's Condo, GA

A rainy day is depressing for many, but it's especially depressing for Maria. Maria is a woman who only won a condo in a contest and she has been rubbing it in her friend's faces. Ferna Romero Therapist: "The desire to rub your glory in someone else's face comes from the desire to be seen as better than that person whether it's due to jealousy, vengeance, or another factor, but that just makes you worse than them." Today, she can't see her friends because it's raining. It's time for her favorite and most secretive pass time, blowing up condoms and using them as dildos. Maria is having a good time until (thunder roars and Maria starts choking) she had striking accident. The thunder roaring caught Maria off guard and she sucked the condom out of her hands, and down her throat. Carlos Hernandez Ear, Nose, and Throat Specialist: "When this girl gasped in air, the condom was sucked out of her hand and went down her throat. Normally, we have a gag reflex to cough up objects we are choking on, but this woman inhaled it so fast all the air was sucked out and it turned inside out and it is like having a glue stick down your throat. This type of blockage would be very difficult to cough up and she would asphyxiate in minutes," Maria liked to rub her glory in her friend's faces, but when it came to telling them her secrets, she couldn't suck it up

Way to Die #145

Dil-Dead

Coming up see a guy getting drunk anger his dogs, and why did a girl make water turn red

Date: September 9, 2008

Yellowstone National Forest

There are many monstrous people in the world, but what you are about to see will make you wonder how evil humans can be. This is Christian, he is a former scientist who thinks he is smarter than everyone else in the world and spends his days experimenting on animals from the wild. Where does he get his animals? Yellowstone National Forest. Every night he steal animals from there to torture them in his experiments. He would use stuff like genetic mutations, radioactive poisons, and even corrosive liquids. Max Harrison Police Officer: "Just because these areas are protected, doesn't stop people from trying to steal animals from there. In fact, that might actually make them more valuable at a black market." Christian has found something he has never gotten his hands on, an American Badger. He picks it up to examine it. Too bad he forgot one think about badgers, they can be aggressive. (badger bites Christian's neck and he starts freaking out) It bites his neck right in his carotid arteries. He grabs the badger of making several cuts in his neck. Jennifer Hsu Hematologist: "When the badger bit this man, it's bite didn't just puncture his carotid arteries, it also is what blocked him from bleeding out. So when he ripped the badger off, it also let the blood loose. Since the carotid arteries take blood up to the brain, what's going to the brain is coming out and the blood in the brain is being drained by the jugular veins resulting in swift death." A story of two animals fighting often results in the bigger one winning. When the one animals a monster it can result in a kiss of death.

Way to Die #692

Crack-ula

Date: June 6, 2006

New York City, New York

Uh oh, looks like two guys are getting arrested. Let's rewind to one week back. Johnny and Kyle were brothers returning home from a night of partying. Unaware to them, they are being follow. 20 feet away are two gang members Jackson and Calvin who haven't received a drug debt from them. Max Harrison Police Officer: "If you don't pay a drug debt, you will most likely be killed. Many drugdealers don't take no for an answer so you should stay away from them." To be sure the two men "pay their debt" they brought along two other gang members Victor and Brad. Their plan, get the two out of the car and shoot them in different locations to make it look like a coincidence. "Okay, Calvin and I get Kyle and you two get Johnny." Their weapon of choice, AK-47's. Johnny and Kyle are 20 minutes away from Kyle's apartment building when. "Get out of the car." They are pulled over and taken hostage. Jackson stuns Kyle by hitting him with the gun, while Johnny is taken hostage. "You guys take Johnny to a location far away from here and we'll take care of Kyle somewhere else. Jackson and Calvin ready there AK-47's and, (Calvin and Jackson shake violently and collapse) their plan backfires. The gang members didn't plan out one important thing, the exact locations of the murders. Victor and Brad went behind an abandoned building, and Jackson and Calvin went behind a restaurant. The two locations were a half a block away from each other. Another thing you should know, Victor and Brad are inexperienced gunmen. They were unprepared for the powerful recoil and missed their intended target, but hit Calvin and Jackson not too far away. Timothy Gerry Ballistics Expert: "AK-47's are very powerful. When the bullets entered these guys skulls, they deflected of the skull softening the tissue around it and the brain would start to collapse in on itself resulting in near instantaneous death." Johnny and Kyle were lucky. Johnny escaped when he realized that the bullets missed and Kyle escaped when he saw his attackers dead. One week later, Victor and Brad are arrested for illegal use of firearms, involuntary manslaughter, kidnapping, and several other crimes related to their gang.

Way to Die #11

All Gun and Games

Date: March 8, 2009

San Francisco, CA

Hoarding is a bad and dangerous habit and no one is more proof than Cameron. He is in danger of being evicted from his one floor house. Ferna Romero Therapist: "Hoarding is caused by people growing an emotional attachment to many items and not wanting to get rid of them. Eventually, these start to accumulate and take up too much space. There's a story about two people called the Collyer Brothers where one was immobile and the other was a hoarder and one day the hoarder set off his own trap and was crushed by his hoarded items and the other brother died of starvation after there was no one to help him." Cameron is going through his daily routine of going through his hoarded objects to get to the kitchen, when an intense movement of Earth's tectonic plates also known as an earthquake occurs. Cameron falls over and so does his items. A set of encyclopedias knocks him out and items start piling on him. In a classic situation of bad to worse, the two foot thick ceiling caves in weighing down the objects that have accumulated over Cameron's body. Dr. Khyber Zaffarkhan Physical Medication and Rehab: "The ceiling caving in weighed down the items already over his body, and his chest couldn't expand, so he asphyxiated in a few minutes. It took Cameron years to accumulate this much stuff and it took only minutes to end his life.

Way to Die #221

Faulty Line

Coming up, when pets attack and since when does a rotating object pull inwards

Date: May 5, 2006

Philadelphia, PA

There is nothing worse then an animal abuser, meet Andrew. He's a lazy douchebag who gets kicks out of making the one animal he hates miserable, dogs. Alice Kinney PETA Worker: "Most pets cannot fight back at their owner which makes them a prime target for abuse. I cannot stand people who abuse pets or any animals. Many animals only attack people because of actions done by humans. These animals need to be protected and taken care of." These dogs are underfed, beaten, and belittled. One night, Andrew is passed out drunk and he leaves his groceries close enough to his seven dogs. They eat the groceries and right when Andrew wakes up, karma comes in four legs, a snout, claw, and a tail. "What the hell are you doing?" (dogs start mauling him) Kayla Picozzi Veterinarian: "Dogs have very sharp claws and teeth so they could rip open his flesh and soon after, the cut arteries in the lung and alveoli. He died of a combination of suffocation and exsanguination. Being mauled to death is a painful and gory way to die. Andrew abused his animals and they were defending themselves. He not only deserved it, but made his dogs rough.

Way to Die #533

Canis Doofus Familiaris

Date: August 1, 2010

Atlantic Coast, USA

These teenage girls are riding a speedboat and fishing on the Atlantic Coast all are having a good time except Marissa who hasn't caught a thing all day. This is because she is trying to catch fish with her hands and not a rod. Randy Graham Fisherman: "It's never a good idea to fish with your hands. One because, the fish will com out. Two, if the boat comes to a sudden halt you can fall in. Three, if your in the back and the propeller hits your arms, it can cause major damage." Marissa is doing it on the back of the boat. IDIOT ALERT! Marissa grabs onto what she thinks is a thin fish, but it's really coral. She falls off and makes the mistake of letting go. (Marissa is sucked into the propeller and screams) "Oh my god! Marissa! Daniel Henderson Physicist: "With the propeller spinning, it created less pressure going against the propeller which allowed more pressure to go towards the propeller, sucking her into it. The propeller chopped through her body cutting multiple organs and killing her in seconds. Marissa was dumb enough to get close to a boat propeller and even dumber to not try to save herself as she was being sucked in, sucks for her. (girl picks up severed arm and screams)

Way to Die #412

Coral Of The Story


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